When Your Parent Has Cancer: A Guide for Teens – National

You may want to share this booklet with your mom, dad, brothers, and sisters. It might help □□I’m afraid that someone else in my family might catch cancer.
76 pages

85 KB – 76 Pages

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If your mom, dad, or an adult close to you has cancer, this booklet is for you. Here you can read about what has helped other teens get through this tough time. Doctors, nurses, social workers, friends, and family are working hard to help your mom or dad get better. You are a very important part of that team, too. In the weeks and months ahead, you may feel a whole range of emotions. Some days will be good, and things might seem like they used to. Other days may be harder. This booklet can help prepare you for some of the things you might face. It can also help you learn to handle living with a parent or relative who has cancer. ˙ ˙ ˙ www.cancer.gov/publications ˙ NCI™s Cancer Information Service at 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237). Acknowledgments We would like to thank the many teens, health care providers, and scientists who helped to develop and review this booklet.

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You may want to read this booklet cover to cover. Or maybe you™ll just read those sections that interest you most. Some teens pull the booklet out now and again when they need it. You may want to share this booklet with your mom, dad, brothers, and sisters. It might help you bring up something that has been on your mind. You could ask people in your family to read a certain chapter and then talk about it together later. We™ve put words that may be new to you in bold. Turn to the glossary at the back of this booklet for their de˜nitions. HERE MOMŠ TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. LET™S SEE. Wherever you go, go with all your heart. ŠConfucius

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CHAPTER 1 You™ve just learned that your parent has cancer page 1 CHAPTER 2 Learning about cancerpage 9 CHAPTER 3 Cancer treatment page 13 CHAPTER 4 What your parent may be feeling page 21 CHAPTER 5 Changes in your family page 23 CHAPTER 6 Taking care of yourself page 31 CHAPTER 7 Finding support page 37 HOW ABOUT SOME COMPANY? SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. LET™S TALK ABOUT IT.

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CHAPTER 8 You and your friends page 43 CHAPTER 9 How you can help your parent page 47 CHAPTER 10 After treatment page 51 CHAPTER 11 The road ahead page 57 CHAPTER 12 Learning more on your own page 59 CHART A Cancer team members page 63 CHART B Monitoring Tests page 64 Glossary page 66 However long the night,

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‘You™re not to blame. Cancer is a disease with various causes, many of which doctors don™t fully understand. None of these causes has anything to do with what you™ve done, thought, or said. Balance is important. Many teens feel like their parent™s cancer is always on their mind. Others try to avoid it. Try to strike a balance. You can be concerned about your parent and still stay connected with people and activities that you care about. Knowledge is power. It can help to learn more about cancer and cancer treatments. Sometimes what you imagine is actually worse than the reality. ‘˚ ˚

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’ As you deal with your parent™s cancer, you™ll probably feel all kinds of things. Many other teens who have a parent with cancer have felt the same way you do now. Some of these emotions are listed below. Think about people you can talk with about your feelings. Check off the feelings you have: ˜My world is falling apart. ˜I™m afraid that my parent might die. ˜I™m afraid that someone else in my family might catch cancer. (They can™t.) ˜I™m afraid that something might happen to my parent at home, and I won™t know what to do. It™s normal to feel scared when your parent has cancer. Some of your fears may be real. Others may be based on things that won™t happen. And some fears may lessen over time. ˜I feel guilty because I™m healthy and my parent is sick. ˜I feel guilty when I laugh and have fun. You may feel bad about having fun when your parent is sick. However, having fun doesn™t mean that you care any less. In fact, it will probably help your parent to see you doing things you enjoy.

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š˜I am mad that my mom or dad got sick. ˜I am upset at the doctors. ˜I am angry at God for letting this happen. ˜I am angry at myself for feeling the way I do. Anger often covers up other feelings that are harder to show. Try not to let your anger build up. ˜I feel left out. ˜I don™t get any attention. ˜No one ever tells me what™s going on. ˜My family never talks anymore. When a parent has cancer, it™s common for the family™s focus to change. Some people in the family may feel left out. Your parent with cancer may be using his or her energy to get better. Your well parent may be focused on helping your parent with cancer. Your parents don™t mean for you to feel left out. It just happens because so much is going on. When you come to the end of your rope,

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€˜No one understands what I™m going through. ˜My friends don™t come over anymore. ˜My friends don™t seem to know what to say to me anymore. We look at some things you can do to help situations with friends in Chapter 8: You and Your Friends . For now, try to remember that these feelings won™t last forever. ˜I™m sometimes embarrassed to be out in public with my sick parent. ˜I don™t know how to answer people™s questions. Many teens who feel embarrassed about having a parent with cancer say it gets easier to deal with over time. There is no one firightfl way to feel. And you™re not aloneŠmany other teens in your situation have felt the same way. Some have said that having a parent with cancer changes the way they look at things in life. Some even said that it made them stronger. tie a knot and hang on. ŠFranklin D. Roosevelt

85 KB – 76 Pages